The Friendly Church vs. the Loving Church

“Don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.” (James 4:4)

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One extremely common truism in American Christianity is that “In order for your church to grow the members must be friendly to visitors.” This is at best a half truth, but as we know – a half truth is a whole lie. What I mean by the “friendly church” is the one that seeks to attract members primarily through their friendliness and not through the Word of God alone. This is not how a church should act. This is how a social club acts.

Holy Scripture never says that we must be friendly above all other considerations. In fact, James shows that “friendship with the world is hatred toward God.” Christ says that we must love our neighbor. Now, you might think that to be friendly is loving, but that is not always true. If a fellow Christian is openly sinning then the “friendly” Church wouldn’t dream of confronting the sinner to call him to repentance. That would seem “unfriendly.” However the loving church wouldn’t hesitate to call the sinner to repentance to save him from destroying himself. Yes, there is the risk that the sinner might become offended and break off the friendship, but it is the nature of love to take that risk in order to save the beloved.

It is no wonder that churches are abandoning their doctrines in order to gain members. They have chosen to be friends with the world rather than followers of Christ. Yes, your social club (I mean, “church”) may grow, but when you seek to gain members by being friendly, you don’t get Christ’s disciples, you get social climbers. The tyranny of filling your church with social climbers is that in order for the institution to continue you must continually keep the social butterflies happy because the minute they aren’t happy they fly off to some other social club more willing or able to slavishly indulge their fleshly desires. In this way the social club (church?) turns their members into idols and spends too much time serving their desires and too little time serving Christ. For the sake of “friendship with the world” many churches would rather be social clubs than call sinners to repentance in order to save their souls.

There are many reasons why church members would rather be friendly than loving, but all of them are sinful. It is much easier to be friendly, but that won’t lead anyone to their salvation in Christ. Loving your neighbor will sometimes make him angry at you. That can’t always be avoided. Sinners often enjoy their sin even when they know it is wrong. The loving Christian is sometimes ridiculed for calling the sinner to repent, even when they do it in the kindest possible way.

This is not to say that the loving church is unfriendly, though sometimes it may be perceived in such a way. The Good Samaritan pictured above would likely be considered friendly, but he was more than that. He not only treated his enemy as a friend, but he did so at considerable personal expense and self-sacrifice. On the other hand, both John the Baptist and Jesus (pictured to the left) lovingly preached God’s Law to unrepentant sinners and were assassinated for their trouble. Neither King Herod nor the Pharisees thought John and Jesus were friendly, but both John and Jesus were willing to die rather than let sinners continue to head toward their destruction unaware. It is likely true that King Herod and many of the Pharisees still continued in their sin to their eternal torment, but others likely repented and found their salvation in Jesus.

Another reason why Christians ought not seek to attract members simply by being friendly is that it is dishonest. Even the best Christians in the best churches are still sinners. There will be conflict and hurt feelings and all sorts of nasty sinful things going on wherever people (i.e. sinners) gather together. The church that intends to cater to the “friendly” crowd must cover up these natural occurrences of sinful human behavior. This is because when we admit we are sinners, even to forgive one another, we admit that we aren’t as good as we would like others to think we are. The loving church, however, deals with sin as if they expect people to sin against one another – even the “best” people! Most often this repentance and forgiveness occurs privately between individuals, but sometimes it must be brought out into the open. It is not unloving to call a sinner to repentance just as it is not unloving to forgive the repentant sinner. In fact, to repent and forgive is exactly why Christ established the church.

The consequences of seeking friendship with the world are also shown in James 4. The people to whom James writes have “quarrels” and “fights” among themselves because their desires are at war within themselves and they seek to indulge their sinful desires rather than control them. James says, “You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly to spend it on your passions.” (v. 2-4) This is the state of “church growth” churches in American Christianity (and elsewhere). Pastors desire the big churches so that they can indulge themselves in a luxurious lifestyle such as big homes, fancy cars, etc. Church members ought to reject this worldliness, but they, too enjoy the prestige of belonging to a large, fancy church rather than something more modest.

James warns us that this will end in conflict. Seeking friendship with the world always results in conflict, though the effects are often not seen for a long time. This does not mean that there isn’t conflict from day one. Whenever false teachers come into a church and preach their lies the true believers will resist. The heretics then use various forms of spiritual violence to intimidate and silence the faithful. The “friendly” heretics often try to persuade the faithful that what they are teaching is indeed God’s Will and that by resisting the changes in doctrine and practice the faithful are resisting progress, and maybe even the “progressive” work of the Holy Spirit Himself. If the faithful stubbornly persist in their resistance (as they often do) then the friendly heretic will denounce their views, and maybe even their persons, publicly. If the faithful cannot persuade the congregation that if they follow the friendly pastor they are like the proverbial lemmings running headlong for the cliffs, then the faithful people will get discouraged or tire of the battle and leave quietly.

It’s hard to love and forgive sinners. That is why most people would rather be friendly. Yet, the power of forgiveness is greater than anything that can be gained by friendliness. It wasn’t easy for Jesus to forgive sinners either. In order for Jesus to forgive us it took Him, the Son of God, to become incarnate as a man, live a perfectly obedient life and it took His suffering and death on the cross. If you think that is easy then just imagine what it takes to kill the Son of God! Yet, the life and death of Jesus shows the greatness of God’s love and how important forgiveness is to Him. Jesus doesn’t ask us to suffer the punishment for our sins – He did that in our place – so that He could save us from that same punishment. Since Jesus did this hard work for us, can’t we forgive one another? It isn’t easy, but Jesus did the hard work, and when we forgive we show that we, too have been forgiven.

Click here to listen to the Issues Etc. Blog of the Week segment from May 28, 2010

Poor in Spirit

Jesus said, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 5:3)

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John the Baptizer came preaching a message of repentance. All who repented of their sins were washed in the Baptism to prepare them to meet their savior, Jesus Christ. The Pharisees also came to hear John’s message, but only to see what was drawing all the people out into the wilderness. The Pharisees thought that their “good works” were sufficient so they felt no need to repent, and did not. They were not baptized, and were subsequently unprepared to meet their savior when He began His ministry.

When John saw the Pharisees listening to his call for repentance, but refusing to repent of their sins, he proclaimed their wicked unfaithfulness to God, much to their dismay and to the surprise of the people who considered them holy. John said, “Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath?” (Matthew 3:7), and called them poisonous serpents.

The Pharisees wrongly felt that they were so rich in spirit that they did not need to repent, nor did they need to rely on the mercy of Christ to save them from God’s wrath, so they were unprepared to recognize their savior when He came and stood right in front of their eyes.

Lest you think that John was too harsh on the Pharisees, Jesus also came preaching repentance and He called the Pharisees “sons of hell” (Matthew 23:15) and “hypocrites” and “whitewashed corpses” among other things (Matthew 23:27).

In the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5) Jesus preached that God gives the kingdom of heaven those who are “poor in spirit.” The “spiritually poor” are those who recognize the poverty of their own spirit to save themselves. They know that they must rely on God’s mercy through Jesus Christ in order to escape God’s wrath over their sin, so they cling to Jesus who brings them to heaven and generously shares with them His eternal heavenly inheritance.

The Pharisees thought themselves “rich in spirit.” They believed that God favored them because they were righteous, holy people who didn’t need to repent of their sins. They rejected Jesus and their salvation because they refused to see how lost they were. This is what Jesus meant when He said, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 19:24) Beware of those modern Pharisees who would explain away this passage as referring to some small, but passable gate in Jerusalem. It was just as impossible for a camel to go through the eye of a sewing needle in ancient times as it is today. Jesus taught that it is impossible for anyone to be saved if he trusts in his own richness of spirit instead of Christ’s works to save him.

Jesus also teaches this in the Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector. (Luke 18:10-14) In this story the Pharisee brags about himself before God, but his empty prayer falls on deaf ears. The tax collector, however, agonizes over his sin and pleads, “God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” God hears this honest, faithful prayer and forgives his wickedness. Thus, having been forgiven his sins, the kingdom of heaven is opened to him.

You are not likely to hear the popular preachers of our day telling you to proclaim to God and the world your poverty of spirit or your unworthiness for the blessings of God’s kingdom. Most popular preachers are more like the Pharisees. They tell you that God wants you to be rich and successful in this life. They tell you that the few good things you do please God enough to receive His favor, or if you aren’t good enough yet, you could be with just a little effort on your part. This is why these preachers are so popular and why it is so easy to be a Pharisee. We all want to be rich and successful. We want to believe that God favors us because we are so good, or at least that we are better than the next guy in some way. But this is all wickedness and lies which lead us to trust in ourselves and reject Christ.

The faithful preachers of today are the ones who teach us to emulate Saint Paul who called himself the “chief of sinners.” (1 Timothy 1:15-16) Yes, it goes against all sinful human logic to see how God is going to welcome you into Paradise when you stand before Him and proclaim that you are the worst, wicked sinner who only deserves punishment. But Saint Paul isn’t bragging about his wickedness as if that would save him. He is bragging about Christ’s mercy and forgiveness – that Christ would forgive such a wicked person as Paul and give him the riches of His heavenly kingdom.

It also is contrary to common sense how telling people of the poverty of their spirit would be a successful evangelism tool. It’s true that you are not likely to fill your church or get rich by telling people just how wicked they are, but neither will you save their souls by lying to them and telling them that they are (or could be) so good that they don’t need Christ to save them. It is so easy for preachers to tell the people what they want to hear. The parishioners will be glad to hear of their goodness and will reward the wicked preacher with praise and monetary blessings – at least until that day when they must stand before Jesus and explain why they think they are better than He is. Then these people won’t be so happy with their false pastors and will curse them forever. On the other hand, those people who hear the hard message and believe in Jesus will receive eternal salvation in Christ’s heavenly kingdom.

When Jesus began to teach hard things that the people couldn’t accept He didn’t soften his message to keep them in the congregation. Instead He taught harder things which seemed to only drive more people away. Then, when He saw that His disciples were still with Him, He asked them, “What about you? Don’t you want to leave, too?” Peter answered for the disciples, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.” (John 6:67-68)

The blessings of the Beatitudes do not come because of our worthiness. We poor sinners are blessed because Jesus has redeemed us through His perfect life and His innocent suffering and death. We should not necessarily strive to be poor, meek, persecuted, etc., instead we should only recognize that we are those things simply because we are sinners and would be condemned were it not for the salvation we have in Jesus Christ. Christ is our blessing both now and for eternity, no matter what our state or station in life.